Conscious Parenting Coach, Rachel

"The child who concentrates is immensely happy." - Dr. Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind During your child's play, observe them and try not to intervene (breaking their concentration) to correct or congratulate them. In Montessori, we often say that we'll interrupt/intervene only when the child is: destructive , dangerous , and/or disruptive .   You can encourage your child's concentration at home too by giving them space and quiet whenever they are safely exploring a toy and playing independently. I personally love this resource, The Parenting Junkie. This video is about 18 minutes long and called: How to Encourage Independent Play. As your child grows, their ability to concentrate grows too. In my toddler Montessori classroom environment, we encourage the concentration of the children by creating and providing materials that: are safe  developmentally appropriate have a beginning, middle, and end (and a control of error) for the child to feel satisfaction and

Connection is the moment. It is the play, the cuddle, the conversation. It is the look, touch, trust, and presence.  Attachment is magnetic. A strong attachment allows the child to run off and return,  run off and return, run off and return. Again and again, the return... until the child settles into authentic independence.  We must give our children consistent unconditional love. This is easier to write than do. However, it is vital to emotional well-being. True unconditional love says,  You can falter, fall, and fail and still come back to me. I am here.  When children have secure attachments to adult caregivers, they express confidence, joy, resilience, and steadiness. They feel free to be children. They can have friends, but they are less likely to obsess over them, depend heavily on them, and abandon their authenticity and truth, to morph into them.  They play and interact and create relationships with other children, but they circle back home at the end of the day.  Attachment,

To make harmony with another - to feel for their tone, tune, sound, vibration, energy, and tempo.  One effective way to attune with another is to become still and silent. To be in  presence. And what is presence but attention to and awareness of the current moment?  To attune with another, particularly a child, one must slow down, drop expectations, and observe. Observe the other . Investigate. Do they need something? A nap? A snack? A moment of collecting? What and how are they feeling? Do they need to be seen? Their feelings validated?  A dose of love and empathy?  Attempt to accept the other and the moment (however messy) you are in.  As the spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, once wrote,  “Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life."  And all the while, observe yourself.  Investigate. Do you need some

The writers I read, write about destiny. They write about following the light like an actor on a stage might, like a car at night might, like a tree or a flower might.  Follow the light, they write. And fall into the flow, into the motion of the moment.  They write this while they sit in silent stillness for hours, writing good book upon good book. They fall. They do. And then, through deep inner listening, they rise into resiliency. Then they move people, these motivational makers of transformation. They move people to the present moment.   They write You can be as free as me. You can! Be open. Be as wide open as the ocean. Then, let worry fall, fear flee, and the ego drop. Now. They say. Sit in stillness. Yes, for hours! Believe. Eventually, you will be as free as me.  Free is not fame. Fame is a myth, an invented hierarchy of modern society. Film stars, rock stars, youtube sensations, royalty, politicians, professional athletes, best-selling authors, and the business savvy - none a

  I am here (I say, pointing) in the circle of my wholeness. Not quite done, but open. Not quite finished, but seeking to reach the authenticity of my deepest, truest, fullest self. It is a circling. It is a sweeping, swooshing circling. It is a meandering, a wandering, a wilding. It is indeed, a rebelling (no, no not regretting), but a leaning into the learning, into the understanding of being and of being human. 

I want to share with you a quote from the book, Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers , by Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Mate. "The key to activating maturation is to take care of the attachment needs of the child. To foster independence we must first invite dependence; to promote individuation we must provide a sense of belonging and unity; to help the child separate we must assume the responsibility for keeping the child close. We help a child let go by providing more contact and connection than he himself is seeking. When he asks for a hug, we give him a warmer one than he is giving us. We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it. We help a child face the separation involved in going to sleep or going to school by satisfying his need for closeness." ---Gordon Neufeld & Dr. Gabor Mate, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers This might seem a little controversial coming from